So...So...So Much

I forewarn you....this post is not for the faint of heart. It is LONG!!!

Wow, I'm not even sure where to begin. We have had a wonderful as well as tragic two weeks in our family. My mind has been reeling and I want to cover all of my thoughts so I have this included in my blog book when I get it bound. Weighing most heavily on my mind are the losses to our family so I'd like to begin with my tributes to those we are missing.

On July 17th, my 91 year old Grandma passed away from a combination of illnesses due to old age. If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share a few experiences we had with her during the last week of her life. My Mom, Wayland, me and the kids were blessed to be able to take a trip to San Francisco to see my Grandma about a week and a half ago. I remember feeling a bit nervous to see her because when I saw her last she was healthy and strong and I knew she was now be very bed ridden and ill. I also wasn't sure how my children would react.....I underestimated them. Celine especially was very drawn to my Grandma and had no concern for how she looked. For the most part, my Grandma was in and out of sleep...at first not recognizing me but after a day or two her gentle eyes showed she was able to place who I was and that Celine was my daughter. Let me share a little background. My Grandma did not practice any religion and would like to think there was a God, but really didn't believe there was one. She always knew I was very strong in my beliefs and told me once that when she died that I could have my Aunt Sheila's bible because I was the one who believed in all that "God Stuff". That made me smile. As I lay by my Grandma's bed telling Celine stories of my visits to Grandma when I was little, it felt as though my Grandma was not aware of her surroundings at all. I wondered if she would even know I was there to tell her I loved her one last time.....I doubted it. Well, my sweet daughter, undaunted by her surroundings, began singing "I Am A Child of God" to my Grandma. Almost instantaneously, her Great-Grandma's eyes popped open and she reached right out to hold Celine's hand as she sang. Not only did it take great effort, but I knew the song had struck a chord...not being a member of the church, she had never heard that song before. It was a beautifully poignant moment. I can't recall when, but my Mom had told me once that my Grandma was worried about where she would go when she died....I felt this was my opportunity to tell her. Although she closed her eyes after Celine was done, I just quietly shared with my Grandma all I knew of our journey after this life. I told her she had no need to fear and that it was a beautiful place she was going to, where her daughter, great grandaughter, and parents would be waiting for her. I whispered to her that when she was ready, to just let go of this life and to fear no more, for God would be watching over her. She passed away the next day. It brings bitter sweet tears to my eyes when I think of that day. Heavenly Father seemed to hand it to me and I can only pray I helped my sweet Grandma in some way. Families are Forever and until we meet again Grandma.....I love you.

Me, Grandma and the kids about 4 yrs. ago

Me, my brother and my Grandma.

I was 8 and this was one of my

favorite trips because I got to stay

with her for a whole week by

myself. We ate peach ice cream for

dinner :)

In Loving Memory....

On Monday of this week, we were extremely saddened to find out that Wayland's dear cousin, Ursula, lost her husband in a B52 crash off the coast of Guam. Ursula and Wayland's families grew up together in Samoa and our hearts are filled with great sorrow . Siosi was a Colonel in the air force and second in command of the 36th medical group at Anderson Air Force base in Guam. The details and cause of the accident are unknown at this time, but this morning the search for survivors was changed from rescue to recovery as they determined there were no survivors in the six member crew. The love Ursula and Siosi shared was one of those that eminated from the both of them....he will be dearly missed. Siosi's daughter, who lives in Florida with her mother, is on her way to Guam so please keep sweet Gemini in your prayers as she copes with the loss of her father. Ursula is due in three weeks with their long awaited child, so this is a very difficult time for her. I pray the Lord will give her strength from reserves Ursula doesn't know she has and that He will bless her and her unborn baby with great peace at this difficult time. From our family we send love, respect, and gratitude for Siosi and his service to our country. I watch the news all the time and I hear of soldiers losing their lives, but when it hits close to home, it becomes a different story. I regret not feeling more empathy for those who have served and died so valiantly. Our prayers remain constant for Ursula and until we meet again at Jesus' feet, we will miss you Siosi.....

With my heart heavy and mind reeling from these losses at hand, I have spent nights awake thinking about how blessed I am to know Heavenly Father's plan. It has also reminded me that we never know when Heavenly Father will be ready to call us home and that it is never enough to have our lamps half full. I have promised myself I will love better each day. I will cherish moments with family, friends, and loved ones. I will serve more valiantly and live more worthily because I have been blessed with the truth in this life. Where much is given, much is required. I find myself hugging my children more and ignoring agitation. I want to remember this feeling so when turbulence arises, I will pause and grasp the beauty of the moment. I thank Heavenly Father daily for the amazing family I have been blessed with and for Jesus' atonement that allows me to be with them forever.

On a lighter note, I want to share some of the great moments we enjoyed of the past couple weeks. While we were in San Francisco visiting my Grandma, we were able to take the children out for a few hours each day. We visited the Japanese Tea Gardens, toured Fisherman's Wharf and sat on the beach soaking in the ocean view. We collected rocks, ate fresh crab and indulged in some Ghiradelli chocolate. I was so, so happy that it happened to be Wayland's scheduled vacation week off work...like I said...Heavenly Father handed this trip to me :) We met my Grandma's live in nurse, Vivian and she was just as sweet as could be. We feasted upon excellent take out food (my waistline is paying for this trip) and took great delight in the cool, foggy Frisco days.

The kids at the Japanese Tea

Gardens

Up on the Bridge

Another shot at the gardens (I took a ton)

I love this shot and I love my girls :)

The kids didn't care how cold it was....they

wanted to get wet!

My Sweetie

Driving down Lombard Street...the curviest

street in the world. My kids were lovin' it. I

had to switch spots with Wayland because
there was no way I could drive the suburban

down it.

Fisherman's Wharf

My Mom and the girls watching the seals.

The Seals...they were really funny to watch.

After San Francisco, we travelled to Carson City (which is my hometown) to visit some very dear friends. My parents lived in Carson for 26 years and the Davis family was our "do everything together" friends. Perry and Carol were some of my parents first friends when they joined the church and my Dad and Perry had known eachother a bit through work. At any rate, they are wonderful :) Their son, Steve was one of my best friends since I can ever remember. We went to elementary, junior high, high school and college together. His younger sister Laurie was always "three years younger" than me and although we spent MANY camping trips, late card nights, and church activities together, it wasn't until college where we became close friends. Anyway, we were able to spend few days being graciously hosted at the Davis home! We enjoyed AWESOME breakfast let me tell ya....bacon, eggs, homemade grape juice and jam, danishes, croissants, muffins, orange juice, chocolate chip pancakes with homemade whipcream on top....I know...is that crazy food or what? Thank you Carol and Perry...it was so, so good. (Again, my waist is paying for this trip) This was not to mentioned the BBQ steak, pizzas, cheesecake, ice cream.....shall I go on? ha ha Not that I didn't love the food, but the highlight of my trip was seeing my friend....Laurie, I miss you tons!!! I wish we lived closer because best friends are few and far between and I truly cherish you :) So without too much detail, I'll share our journey. We went to Lake Tahoe and enjoyed the beach for a day--- took a trip of to old town Virginia City and got old fashioned pictures taken (as seen above...please disregard liquor and weapons..lol..it was really fun) and rode the Virginia and Trucked train---BBQ' at Davis Creek with the Davis' youngest son, Danny, and his lovely wife and family--- learned how to play Hearts and Settlers---enjoyed every minute with our old friends. :) Thank you for making it such a great time at your homes everyone! Even though we experienced the loss of my Grandma, it was comforting to be with all of you who have known me forever. We will be back!!!!

Celine building her stick castle at Tahoe

Jake, Logan, Gabe, and Keenan having fun

Kira enjoying the sun

Logan and Keenan loved catching

crawdads.

The crawdads....Wayland took them home

and cooked them for dinner.

Jake and Logan

The boys in my life. So cute...they were

burying their feet in the sand.

My Mom and Carol

Riding the train

Trajan and my friend Laurie with her sons

Gabe and Nate (Jake is hers too....and might

I add she will be adding baby boy number

four in about a month) EXCITING!

Keenan and Logan...Jake and Celine peeking in

Celine is getting too old too fast.....cutie pie

Daddy and his girl

Trajan and Nate on the train

Another train shot.

Laurie's husband Dan with his boys

MMMMM...good ice cream

Carol playing games with all the kids...they

loved it!!!

And I saved the VERY BEST for last......

I LOVE THIS MAN!

Amidst all of the trips, good times and sad times, Wayland and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. We spent the day with our friends at Tahoe which was befitting since we spent some time up there two weeks after our wedding for my open house (hosted by the Davis family). After all these years, I find myself wondering how I got so blessed with a husband that is my best friend. I wouldn't know how to define myself without Wayland because he is so much a part of me. Wayland is my rock when times are tough and my soft place to fall when I need him. He is my greatest opponent and my biggest fan (we're quite competitive :) He loves me with all my flaws and keeps me in line when I need it...lol... Way knows me so well now that he can finish my sentence or hold my hand right when I need it. I love the fact that nobody knows either of us as well as we know eachother and that our dreams are all built together. I love talking with him for hours about nothing in particular (especially since Trajan can babysit now and we actually get to go on a date once a week :) He doesn't care that every time we sit down to watch a movie, I fall asleep. And I don't care that every time I drive the car, he goes to sleep. And neither of us care that we are aging to the point that we fall asleep at the drop of a hat like that...lol... I love that he is knowledgeable in the gospel and that he guides our family with the priesthood. I want nothing more than to grow old with my handsome husband who has blessed me with five beautiful children and a life that is so wonderful. I love you babe....Happy Anniversary!